Chosun Bimbo

I've made it!

Frankly when it comes to the blogosphere in South Korea, and in particular expatriate blogs Lost Seouls is a pretty good berometer of having made it in the scene as it were. Certainly I knew about and started reading it before I even came to the Penninsula. One of Lost Seouls creator James' pet projects is showing us all the plethora of different cup motifs that can be found on paper coffee cups from vending machines - usually noteable for their sanquine use of Konglish to convey heartfelt messages. I sent him this picture a few weekes ago and imagine my suprise when he actually posted about it in his important paper cup update. 아싸!

In other news I had the misfortune to watch 'The Interpreter' On friday night. A rather dull little thing starring Nicole Kidman (With very sexy white Southern African Accent) and the guy from 'I Am Sam' (Sean Penn). It is noteable for having been filmed at the real United Nations and a few scenes were set in the General Assembly hall like this one here:

Heeheehee
Ahhh New Zealanders. We all take such delight in seeing ourselves (or in this case the name of our country) up in lights, on screen and mentioned on the tele and in the paper. Someone once said that New Zealanders are very adept at finding a 'Z' In the world section of any major world Newspaper. And I have a feeling thats right. And in other news here is one major reason I want to go to Japan

That's right SUMO!!!!!!!! I have managed to catch most of the November Tournament on NHK world this week and am feeling pretty shitty for having stayed up so late. Never mind.

And finally Happy 48th Birthday Mum.

Cold

I hate it.

Its freezing and I don't remember it being this cold in November last year. Maybe it's just the quick and drastic change that has caught me? I was whinging back in Sept/Oct but officially you know it's cold when 'The Boss' puts the central heating on at work. It's unmistakable - that faint aroma of heating oil wafting through the classroom as you rearrange the desks and chairs you were to lazy to sought out the night before. Kids turning up to class dressed by their concerned parents - looking like the Michelin man with all those layers. And that nasty cold slap on the cheeks as you walk through a door and emerge outside. As a testemant to the temperature I havn't removed my jacket for three days now. - That was until I got back to the apartment last night.

I don't see what the hell I did differently, but as I was walking through the door the side of my jacket caught the door frame. Of course I kept walking. Despite the sound of material ripping (or perhaps inspite of it) I kept walking. I got to infront of the Gas hob - literally a foot and a haf into the house before my sturdy progress forward was arrested. tug...tug...What the F&^$%! W180,000 Asics winter jacket down the toilet. And the only warm jacket I can wear to work, it (was) both warm, comfortable and lightweight.

Frankly I think it was providence you see. I was lying in bed the other night thinking about all the stuff I will have to pack when I go home. Now I (had) two very large jackets. Said Asics one (Rest In Peace) and my trusty old German army jacket (I think I have had it for a good 10 years now) Which still looks as good as the day I bought it at Doyles in Manukau. But it's huge - and heavy. I was indeed contemplating throwing it out... :-( and replacing it with a new one when i got home. And then all this goes and happens and who am I forced to turn to? Trusty old reliable German Army Jacket. How could I have blasphemed against thou? Why it was you who made me look cool in the 7th form when we went down to the shop for a durrie, and it was you who kept me warm when I was squatting in Greenlane, and it is you now that keeps the cool Korean Autumnal weather at bay. How could I ever have thought of throwing you away?

The down side is that 'The Boss' is not keen on me turning up to work looking like a German soldier. He had a quiet word about me wearing Cargo Pants to work. (and I notice Sophia doesn't wear her's anymore). But he is shit out of luck until I go and buy a new jacket. Which will not be until at least the end of the month. And an absurd expense giving the circumstance inwhich I have found myself.

It's funny how something as innocent as a piece of clothing can bring back such a flood of memories.

In Other News: Winston continues to dominate the Korean Media's coverage of APEC (not really.)

I found a very nice diary for next year and have already had to make entries in it up to March next year! I honestly didn't think I was that busy or important but necessity proves otherwise - God I wish I could remember things. I have been staring at the calendar at least 3 times a day wishing for time to hurry up. It is only 6 weeks to the end of the year and 14 to the beginning of March. Now that it is so close I really want to go home. Not because anything here is too bad - it's not bad at all - But I dearly miss New Zealand and a few of the people there. I am particularly looking forward to Dilworth School's Centenary celebrations and getting to see my mum and go and see for myself what a shit hole Queen street has purportedly become.

In saying that I have no intention to stay for much more than 8 weeks and Since Kroy and Ranuka are pissing off to the UK before I even get home I won't even have my favourite synthetic chemist to talk to. Such is life.

Finally I am working ever so slightly on a new Podcast which will be up sooner or later (see link above or listen to first podcast here) Probably later in that I want to interview Ken as part of it but he won't be in country for at least 2 more weeks. He has invited me to the East cost sometime before the end of the year so might get a chance then.

Winston in da house!

Aaawww Yea! The Minister of Foreign Affairs is in Korea doin' the APEC thing.

Pepero Day

In The West we often refer to the commercialisation and ultimate corruption of special days like Mother's Day and St Valentine's day by companies like Hallmark. The direct comparison in Korea is Pepero day - November 11th.

Firstly one must explain what a Pepero is. For in New Zealand we do not (as far as I am aware) have them. They are long thin buscuits that have been dipped in chocolate. Put 4 of them next to each other and (supposidly) it makes "11 11" - the eleventh of November if you will.

And so throughout Korea in the week leading up to the eleventh convenience stores and supermarkets country wide go on a marketing binge - aimed pretty squarly at kids, pushing these little chocolate goodies. The Kids in turn take them to school and exchange them with their friends and give them as gifts to show appreciation and express friendship. Really a beautiful concept - but as a teacher it is a double edged sword.

So far this week I have detailed how difficult it is to teach while hungover - it is near impossible when all of your students have steadily munched through (literally) a shopping bag of chocolate for most of the day. And shopping bag is no exaggeration .

Julie, Chris and Liz show of their loot

Alice and Jean are also pumped up on the Choco buzz

Pepero is actually a paticular brand name (made by Lotte) that was originally behind the whole concept. By in large no one seems to care but I did manage to observe some Pepero snobbery towards non-brand name chocolate sticks. And like everything else in Korea there are plenty of knock-offs.

Julie demonstrates her disdane for "hello kitty" non-brand name generic chocolate sticks.

The whole affair turns out to be an interesting microcosim of capitalism with kids bartering and making deals with sometimes thousands of Won at stake. (W1000=NZD$1.30). In other respects it just turns out to be a bit of a popularity contest. Last year I was somewhat ambivilant to the whole concept. This year I went out of my way to make a bit of a stokepile of the things to give out in class. In return The kids gave me hundereds of the things in all shapes and styles.

Stafford shows off his haul at 3pm.

Final tally 8pm

Several comments were passed as to how popular I am (feed my ego pleeeeease!) with the kids - which is quite a good feeling as I am always under the impression that all of my students hate me for being the strictest bugger in all of Korea. And I have to say I got more than Sophia and Clair - I'll be eating the fucking things until Christmas.

In other news: Either 'The Boss' has learnt a new word or on Thursday I was looking really shitty. He described me as looking Melancholy. And that my face reflected the autumn.

Is it any wonder when I have had to wake up to this gloomy scene lately?

Thursday was of course Amelia's birthday so I was acting a bit sulky. Thursday night however I got a call from one of Yunhee's friends. Suh Pyungju (병주) or 'PJ' is the head of English at St Pauls Girls (The Catholic Girls School in Nonsan). And I also met his friend (whose name escapes me currently) who is the head of Science. As is the style here in Korea, I had quite a lot to drink, and didn't have to pay. (아싸!) And I have been invited to go fishing. Very cool. (What do you fish for in Korea? Bass?)

I would like to note also that today - being the 12th of November - I saw the first Christmas story on the news - some one month and twelve days before Christmas. Some irrelevant piece on inverted Christmas trees on CNN. I mean upside down Xmas trees - what a crock!

Damn the Critics

I'm not trying to show off. As anyone who can read (let alone speak) 한국어 will tell you the previous post is very bad grammatically speaking. (Indeed, I'm sure parts of it don't even make sense - they sure as hell didn't in English so why should they in Korean?) Not to mention the proper nouns that I have no idea whether to transliterate into 한글, or whether there are korean words. (a dictionary is bugger all use when it comes to the names of stuff). And I think I used the term for urination rather than accuratly trying to convey that the rain was "pissing down" Hopefully you lot (you know who you are) can appreciate that it took me a good hour and a half to rewrite the original post in a way that Google Translation could understand! - That's right! you too can impress your friends by pretending to know Korean much better than you actually do! LOVE IT!

In other news: Mad props to this cutie who 'TyPes Lk dIs' but isn't afraid to admit to everyone on the internet that she likes sHoRtLaNd sTrEet.

With all the hype I forgot to mention that Conan got fired for not turning up to work. (And I think for having such a silly English name) And I allowed myself a good (inward) smirk of satisfaction tinged with relief - in that he wasn't that good now was he? In his place the lovely and very friendly (and very married with two children - a boy and a girl - aged 2 and 3 respectivly) Clair, who has 5 or 6 years teaching experience, and studied in Perth, Australia meaning both of my collegues talk with horribly mangled Australian - Korean Accents. (just kidding - they're not that mangled!)

As I have mentioned my 6o'clock class is continuing to give me shit and thankfully Clair has picked up on this as well. We now both anxiously wait as the wheels of power slowly turn their way towards a timetable change and a chance to split the class in two.

Elsewhere I take great comfort in knowing that each morning I can run down to the crown bakery and get a good tall Americano for W1500 (NZD$2.10) but do you think they're trying to tell me something? (See picture)

Go Away indeed! I hope this is Konglish for Take out.

And finally as I write this it is quite literally the time of birth 2 years ago of someone very very special to me

Happy Birthday Amelia!

우리는 거기서 아직 이어는가?

너가 잔존물을 갖을 때 곤란한 그것이 가르친것을 일  수 있다 까 라고 나는 발견했다 (장군안에 혼자서 기능을 시키 십시요).  Ken은 방문사이 아주 긴 간격다음에의 논산에게 마 지막적으로 그의 방법을 제조했다.  그는 마지막 3에 일본또는  이어 위로 어제 끝난 서울안에 무역 쇼를 참석한것과 같이 만큼  잘 이렇게 주것과 같이 만큼 잘 중국과 타이란드안에그리고.   다만의 오늘 그는 중국등을맞댄 이끄는 가정했다, 그러니 그는  기회의 한 밤을 위해 논산안에 이렇게 해야 했다 최대량을 제 조한 이어지 않.  그리고 최대량은 믿는다 너를 나에게 제조되 었다 !   Ken, James및 나는 일본 장소 도심지에 정찬을 갖았다 .  익지않는 물고기, 장어및 wasabi은 치료아래 갔다 (다만 지 원 다시 에 관하여 절반 과거 둘에 온 위하여 이 아침은 .)  soju이것과 같이.  저배설물은 Devil's 일 이다, 나는  그것을 맹세한다.  정찬에 나가 오히려 빠르게 마신것을 보였다  고 Ken은 비평을 통과했다  - 나가 주의하지 않았었던  무언가  - 그러나 노력의 더를 제조한것을 결정하는 빨리  마시고.  Ooops에 그것거기에서 떨어져 있었다  - 우리 들의 삼개이 계속 얼마간 시간을 위해 결석한다 곳에  -  맥주 더, Hennessys (~ies은?)의 한 쌍  그리고 가정을 얻, 잔 것을 나가 빠른 jaunt 십자가 읍을 위해택시안에 얻는것을 처리 했다 까 라고 " 폭탄 "과 LG25 편익 상점경유 어떤.  걷는 가정 은 이고 천국은 열었다 그러니 나는 소변을 본 비안에 완전하게  적시 얻 가정 비틀거리고.  아래적으로 pringles의 소포 반에 , 던짐 위로 처리하고 다만 로비상공에 쪼개는 두통, 나의 세탁 물 전혀적으로및 (쇼에 uncooked) 국수의 작은 조금에점심 시간 에 전혀적으로 일어나기 위하여 잔것을 갔다  - 저것이  거기서 나를 얻었다 까 라고 너무 확실하다 없다.  나가 기초에  이것을 밤에 했었다 것 을 Can't은 믿는다  - 그리 고 목요일에 의하여 계획된 festivities을 위해 위로 완강하게  저항한것을 해야 할 것이다.

Are we there yet?

I (re)discovered how difficult it can be to teach (let alone function in general) when you have a hangover. Ken 복 finally made his way to 논산 after a very long interval between visits. He has been in 중국 and Thailand as well as 일분 over the last 3 or so weeks and as well as attending a trade show in  서울 that finished up yesterday. Today he was supposed to be heading back to China, so he was in 논산 for one night only and thus had to make the most of the opportunity. And the most was made believe you me!

Ken, James 김 and I had dinner at a Japanese place downtown. The raw fish, eel and wasabi went down a treat (only to come back up again at about half past two this morning.) as did the 소주. That shit is the Devil's work, I swear it. At dinner Ken passed comment that I seemed to be drinking rather quickly - something that I had not noticed - but decided to make more of an effort and drank faster.

From there it was off to Ooops - where the three of us have been absent for some time - more beer, a couple of Hennessys (~ies?) and "Bombs" and some how I managed to get in a cab for a quick jaunt cross town to get home and to bed, via the LG25 convenience store. Was walking home and the heavens opened so I had to stumble home in the pissing rain and got completely soaked.

Managed to down half a packet of pringles, throw up and went to bed only to wake up at lunch time with a splitting headache, my laundry all over the lounge and little bits of (uncooked) noodle all over the show - how that got there I am not too sure.

Can't believe I used to do this on a nightly basis - and will have to buck up for Thursdays planned festivities.

DMZ Infomercial

The Demilitarized zone.

Some background:

Located roughly along the 38th parallel the Demilitarized zone, or DMZ seperates The Republic of Korea (South Korea / RoK) and The Democratic(!) People's Republic of Korea (North Korea). Side note. South Koreans call Korea 대한민국 (Dae han Min Guk) while Northerners refer to the Penninsula as 조선 (Chosun)

The DMZ is 4km wide stretching right across the Penninsula from the west to the east coast. If you were to travel north from Seoul you would first cross the Southern Limit Line, travel 2km to The Military Demarcation Line (MDL) - the actual line between North and South - travel a further 2km cross the Northern Limit Line and into North Korea proper.

Stradling the MDL is the Joint Security Area or JSA manned originally by US and Rok military personnel on the south and DPRK soldiers or the Korean People's Army (KPA) on the North. This year security on the southern part of the JSA was handed over to the RoK. The JSA has been the scene of many meetings between the two sides from the original armistice talks at the end of the Korean war in 1953, to meetings concerning economic aid for the north, ICRC (Red Cross) meetings and even International Olympic Committee (IOC) meetings.

A KPA soldier stationed in the JSA. While it is prohibited to take photos within the DMZ the JSA - under United Nations command is relativly open and one can take photos freely.

Contrast the above with this picture of a KPA guard in winter. The uniforms of the KPA reflect their soviet heritage.

The JSA is also known as Panmunjom (판문점), an actual village destroyed during the 1950-1953 conflict. It now covers about 800metres square and consists 24 buildings housing the United Nations Command Military Armistice Commission and various meeting spaces. Prior to entering the JSA one passes through Camp Bonifas - home of the United Nations Command Security Battalion which holds the motto "In Front of Them All" which in the days of the cold war refered to the fact that the DMZ was very literally the warmest of fronts in which The West (Primarily the Americans) faced down the threat of Communism. Nowadays it's a bit farcical in that the joint forces of the US and the RoK could wipe North Korea off the map using only conventional forces in a matter of days - if not hours.

The JSA with Panmungak in the background

Tours of the JSA are conducted by US personel - usually of Spec. or Cpl rank. While informative they are evidently scripted and I have had the same jokes delivered on tour 8 months apart by different guides.

There have been a number of cinematic representations of the JSA and the DMZ - most recently the James Bond film Die Another Day - which is very UNrealistic, and the Korean film JSA which is a good replica. With the exception of additions by The Hyundai company of a large meeting complex on the South Side and extensions to the Panmungak complex on the North, the buildings and camp Bonifas are all 1960 era buildings - buildings that one would expect to crumble quickly under artillary attack from the North.

Passing through the DMZ is a unique experience. Especially for a New Zealander who doesn't see automatic weapons, Tank traps and mine fields on a regular basis. Hell we have a pitiful army, and no airforce, And one only really sees the Navy when junior officers are attending engineering lectures at varsity. The DMZ has been the scene for a number of almost surreal incidents, including the defection of a soviet translator (?) in November 1984. Said Russian crossed the MDL from the Northern side while on vaction and defected to the West only after several KPA personnel chased after him shooting wildly killing a couple of people on the way.

Mines!

Perhaps the most notorious incident happened in August 1976 when two US personnel were hacked to death with axes by KPA personnel while the Americans were attempting to remove a Poplar (?) tree disrupting line of sight around the bridge of no return. (One, Cpt Bonifas - posthumously made Maj.- had Camp Bonifas named after him.) Two days later the US military went to DefCon 2, with their entire force on standby while army engineers succesfully removed said tree.

There now stands a memorial to Maj. Bonifas and 1Lt. Barrett where the stump of the now infamous tree once stood. (The picture is a bit askew as tours are not permitted to exit the tour bus at this point

The Bridge of No Return
This is where all POWs were repatriated to the North or South at the end of the 1950-1953 conflict. Upon returning UNC soldiers were cleaned up, given new uniforms and a bowl of ice cream! Interestingly The Bridge of No Return remains the only road link between Seoul and Pyongyang.

This photo taken in July shows how close things are and how close the communists can get, proving that the UNC Security battalion truely are "In Front of Them All!"

Bibliography
Kirkbride, W.A. 'Panmunjom. Facts About the Korean DMZ', 5th ed., Hollym, 1998.

Very few people can say they have a JSA Zippo now. Can they?

Click on Pictures to enlarge.

Halloween (super scary)

The Phonics class

Kevin goes all Chinese on me

Jo the Squid (unanimously voted best costume by all judges - ie me)

Scream murderer mask - a popular costume

So many kids

4 O'clock class

Jeff quiet for the first time in a year

Dave buys some candy

Sophia

Stafford and his amazing 5 O'clock class

Well it is November already - I have been staring at the calendar most of the day. It dawned on me that next month is Christmas.

"For God's Sake"

I thought to myself. Where on earth does the time go. I remember all the chocolate I ate last year - and it feels like it was only a couple of weeks ago.

Forgive me for a quiet moment of reflection but time goes really quickly here in Korea. I mean tomorrow is Wednesday - Can you believe it? On paper it looks a fair distance, but March is only 4 months away...16 weeks away...120 days. I am so looking forward to stepping off the plane into a chilly autumn morning in Auckland and yet I really don't want to leave Korea. It's unfortunate. Life here is far too good. I would go as far as to say, too easy.  I am wading through a low tide of intellectual apathy at the moment. Very rarely creative, all to ready to slob out in front of the TV or escape into some playstation.

I just don't want to have to deal with all the shite when I get home. And certainly I know what i mean when i say shite. I have been giving serious consideration to the chance of becoming the Nippon Bimbo, or indeed Chosun Bimbo Redux, but hanker for a bit of "Flatting in Sandringham doing my Masters Bimbo".

Frankly I need a good kick up the ass. (And a haircut)